If you’re the parent of a child with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), you’re likely well-informed about its symptoms and implications. However, other people in your child’s life—relatives, friends, and teachers—may not know much about ASD and therefore may make assumptions.
It can be frustrating when people have misconceptions, are judgmental, or offer unsolicited advice. Here are some of the key things about autism to share with others and to clear up any misunderstandings.
1Not All People With Autism Are the Same
young twin boys
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Autism is called a spectrum disorder precisely because it is characterized by a broad range of symptoms and abilities. People with autism can be high-functioning, low-functioning, or somewhere in-between. They can be highly intelligent and verbal, or cognitively challenged and nonverbal.
The most significant shared symptom among people with ASD is difficulty with social communication, such as making eye contact, conversation, or understanding another’s perspective
A Misunderstood Diagnosis
One reason for the confusion about what it means to have ASD is that diagnostic terms have changed over time. Prior to 2013, when the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders (DSM-5) came out, a diagnosis of Asperger’s syndrome indicated high-functioning autism, while “autism” suggested a more severe disorder. As of 2013, Asperger’s no longer exists, and all people on the autism spectrum receive the same diagnosis of ASD.
There Is No Need for a Cure for Autism
There is no need for a cure for autism, nor is there a need for one. Autism is a lifelong diagnosis.
Intensive early intervention may reduce ASD symptoms, and there are many effective treatments that address the sensory, behavioral, developmental, and medical symptoms of ASD. Depending upon the child, certain therapies will be more successful than others. People with autism can also learn coping skills to help them manage their difficulties and even build on their unique strengths.
Is It Possible to Outgrow Autism?
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is considered a lifelong neurodevelopmental condition, but its symptoms and how they impact a person can change significantly over time. While individuals do not “outgrow” autism in the traditional sense, many children show substantial improvement in functioning, communication, and behavior—especially with early, consistent intervention such as speech therapy, behavioral therapy, and social skills training. Some may even no longer meet the diagnostic criteria as they grow older. However, this doesn’t mean autism is cured; rather, the person has learned to manage or adapt to challenges in a way that may appear more “typical” to others. It’s important for parents and caregivers to understand that progress is possible, but every child’s developmental path is unique, and ongoing support remains essential.
There Is No Known Cause of Autism
No one knows exactly what causes autism. Researchers believe it may be caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors.3 Pregnancy complications and parental age may also increase risk.
The notion that vaccines or “bad parenting” cause autism has been widely debunked by the medical community.
Vaccines Do Not Cause Autism
There’s No “Best” School for All Children With Autism
You may have heard of a wonderful “autism school,” or read of a child doing amazingly well in a particular type of classroom setting. While a given setting may be perfect for a particular child, every child with ASD has unique needs. Decisions about the best type of education for a child with autism are generally made together by parents, teachers, administrators, and therapists who know the child well.
Pros and Cons of Autism-Only Schools
Autism-only schools can offer a supportive and tailored learning environment for children on the spectrum, but they also come with trade-offs that parents should consider carefully. On the positive side, these schools are typically staffed with professionals trained specifically in autism education, behavioral strategies, and therapies like speech and occupational therapy. They often feature smaller class sizes, sensory-friendly environments, and customized learning plans that address both academic and social-emotional needs. This can lead to improved self-regulation, reduced anxiety, and better communication progress. However, on the downside, autism-only schools may limit opportunities for inclusion and exposure to neurotypical peers, which can impact real-world socialization and adaptation. Some parents also worry that the transition back to mainstream settings or adult life may be more difficult without inclusive experiences. Additionally, not all autism-only schools maintain consistent standards, so quality can vary significantly. Ultimately, the decision depends on the child’s individual needs, temperament, and long-term goals.
People With Autism Have Feelings and Emotions
People with autism are capable of feeling and expressing love, though some do so in idiosyncratic ways. Most are also able to have close relationships, including romantic relationships.
A person with ASD may need help developing empathy because they may not be able to interpret what other people are feeling based on their body language. Downcast eyes or a turned back, for example, don’t necessarily signal “sadness” or “anger” to a person with autism. However, if someone explains that another person is feeling sad or hurt, a person with ASD can respond with true empathy.
How Autism May Affect Sympathy and Empathy
Autism can affect how a person experiences and expresses both sympathy and empathy, but it’s a misconception that individuals with autism lack these feelings. In reality, many autistic individuals feel deeply for others—sometimes even more intensely than neurotypical peers—but they may struggle to interpret social cues, facial expressions, or tone of voice, which are key in understanding how someone else is feeling. This difficulty is often linked to what’s called “cognitive empathy”—the ability to recognize and understand another person’s emotional state. However, “affective empathy”—the ability to feel what someone else is feeling emotionally—is often intact or even heightened in many people with autism. As a result, they may care deeply but not know the socially expected way to show it. With the right support and social skills coaching, many children and adults on the spectrum can improve how they interpret and respond to the emotional needs of others, allowing for meaningful, compassionate relationships.
Families Dealing With Autism Need Help and Support
It can be hard to ask others for support, especially if they misunderstand the nature of autism. Therefore, one of the most important things to convey to family and friends is that having an autistic child can be hard.
Even high-functioning autism can be challenging—for the person diagnosed with it as well as their family. For a family affected by severe autism, daily life can be overwhelming. If you’re feeling stressed, you need all the non-judgmental help you can get from friends, extended family, and service providers.
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