Why Should You Tell Your Child That They Are Autistic?

Parents are often anxious about whether to tell their child that they are autistic. That anxiety sometimes stops them from sharing this with the child, but experts agree that it’s better to have that conversation as early as possible.

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Why You Should Tell Your Child

One of the primary motivations for telling your child is that if you don’t, someone else might do it – accidentally or worse, maliciously. Your child will know that they are not the same as other children around them and may even start to feel unworthy. The psychological and emotional effects of this negative self-image could follow them right into adulthood. Having a label for something normalizes it; it gives your child the knowledge that they are not the only person who is like this. They understand that they are not ‘weird’ or sick.

If your child is participating in programs especially for people with autism or on the spectrum, the word will come up. It is always better to share the information with your child in a controlled and loving environment where your child feels safe to enquire and to exhibit their feelings.

Additionally, you need to consider the ethics of withholding information about your child once they have reached an age of understanding. Once the child figures it out, they may feel betrayed because they may feel that the parent is ashamed of it. Children sense that they are not the same as others and it is not acceptable to hide the reason for this. They will feel distressed because they do not fit in, and they cannot figure out why things are difficult for them.

Make It Part Of Everyday-Talk

The earlier you start the conversation, the better. Firstly, it is the best way to ensure that the information comes from a loving and safe place – you. It also enables you to make the most of younger children’s accepting nature. When they learn of their autism at a young age, they are less likely to have developed prejudices or picked up on societal prejudices and thus see it in a negative light. 

Integrate autism into everyday conversation from the beginning and do not shy away from it. Whether the child is receiving autism interventions or attending special events for children with autism or watching a movie that features an autistic character, use the right words: autism and autistic spectrum disorder are not derogatory words and phrases; they simply describe the way a person’s brain works.

Stay Positive About it And Reassure Them

It is crucial that parents remain positive when talking about ASD. Autism spectrum disorders are complex, and every child’s diagnosis is unique. This makes it important that you are giving them individualized and meaningful information that is in line with your family situation.

Your child’s questions are the best starting point and will guide you on how much information is needed at each stage. Some families find that it helps to have a professional on hand to reveal the facts to the child, thus keeping themselves in a support role. Remember that the child will need ongoing interaction as they cannot absorb everything in one meeting.

Start With Highlighting The Positives

Parents of children with autism should start by discussing strengths, challenges and differences that apply to autistic people in general. Then focus on the things your child is good at specifically. Move on to things that present them with a challenge. You can use examples of other children – a neurotypical person or other children with autism they may have observed – looking at the things they struggle with. In this way, you will be helping the child to understand that everyone has strengths and weaknesses.

Having a conversation about autism can help highlight neurological differences, developmental differences and behavioral differences that your child may already be wondering about. Reach out to the autism community to discover the best ways to talk about autism spectrum disorder.

Get in touch with the Autism Center for Kids for support with your autistic child.